Posts tagged thoughts
Today, one of the most important things in my current career was laid down the table. I already prepared myself for the expectations and such. Happy? NO. Contented? KINDA. With all honesty, I do not know what to feel right now. Mixed emotions, but definitely happiness is not one of those.
I am feeling so much right now that my mind gets lost to the world of numbness. The only thing that I am sure of right now is the feeling of worry. Steps were laid. I am being pushed to the limits, but I am not that kind of person. Doubts started to arise. Am I really doing this? Or should I just go and seek? I’m too afraid I will fail. 
I am really hoping and praying I will be able to get through this.

Today, one of the most important things in my current career was laid down the table. I already prepared myself for the expectations and such. Happy? NO. Contented? KINDA. With all honesty, I do not know what to feel right now. Mixed emotions, but definitely happiness is not one of those.

I am feeling so much right now that my mind gets lost to the world of numbness. The only thing that I am sure of right now is the feeling of worry. Steps were laid. I am being pushed to the limits, but I am not that kind of person. Doubts started to arise. Am I really doing this? Or should I just go and seek? I’m too afraid I will fail.

I am really hoping and praying I will be able to get through this.

FattyMe Dilemmas
It has been almost two years. At first, I don’t mind people saying funny things about me gaining weight. But now, I feel it running through my bones. Jokes that have been funny are now starting to sink in through my mind and heart. Sometimes, I just think, “Ah yeah, I know. Oh well, I will lose weight again!” But now, I sometimes feel hurt. Hurt in a sense that I feel like I’m a BIG elephant who just eats everything, everytime. 

People started to notice everytime they see me. I kinda felt shy. Self-esteem at its lowest ever. I don’t feel comfortable and confident anymore. I just don’t know how to ponder things already. How did this begun? I always spend time thinking of the past, when I still have the thing they call “dancer body.” But I know I feel like a bloated balloon. Big stomach, big thighs, boxer-like arms and bloated face.
 I wish I can turn back time and bring the past to present and not to look like a Balloon now.I decided to try the “No Rice” diet and have cheat days every weekends. It has been two weeks. I really wish this would be effective though. I know I have to do more, strive more. This diet isn’t enough. I know, I just need more perseverance, focus and patience.
I really hope that in a few months or even a year I will be able to write back here and proudly share my success story in my journey for CHANGE. 

FattyMe Dilemmas

It has been almost two years. At first, I don’t mind people saying funny things about me gaining weight. But now, I feel it running through my bones. Jokes that have been funny are now starting to sink in through my mind and heart. Sometimes, I just think, “Ah yeah, I know. Oh well, I will lose weight again!” But now, I sometimes feel hurt. Hurt in a sense that I feel like I’m a BIG elephant who just eats everything, everytime. 

People started to notice everytime they see me. I kinda felt shy. Self-esteem at its lowest ever. I don’t feel comfortable and confident anymore. I just don’t know how to ponder things already. How did this begun? I always spend time thinking of the past, when I still have the thing they call “dancer body.” But I know I feel like a bloated balloon. Big stomach, big thighs, boxer-like arms and bloated face.

 I wish I can turn back time and bring the past to present and not to look like a Balloon now.

I decided to try the “No Rice” diet and have cheat days every weekends. It has been two weeks. I really wish this would be effective though. I know I have to do more, strive more. This diet isn’t enough. I know, I just need more perseverance, focus and patience.

I really hope that in a few months or even a year I will be able to write back here and proudly share my success story in my journey for CHANGE. 

Stuck in the same place I’ve always been, and I’ll keep wondering, when will my life begin?

Rapunzel
Never stop doing your BEST just because someone doesn’t give you CREDIT.
The feeling, it really sucks. But I know I should do better and be the best not for them, but for my myself.

Never stop doing your BEST just because someone doesn’t give you CREDIT.

The feeling, it really sucks. But I know I should do better and be the best not for them, but for my myself.

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Push harder, everything’s not enough.

I was told that today. I must admit, that almost made me cry. Just when I thought I’m doing good, but I’m wrong. I felt vulnerable and useless. Small mistakes indeed ruin everything nice you did. Reality bites and it’s heartbreaking. Oh, is this really what I want? Now, I’m really having second thoughts.

God, please bless me with wisdom.

One stupid mistake can make everything change.

I’m pretty messed up. Darn. That cost me a lot of efforts and hardwork.

Almost cried, but good thing I was able to hold it in.

Oh God, please give me wisdom and strength.

Guys, meet Feluchi! 
She’s a 4-year old Cocker Spaniel dog handed over by my Lola Tita (Granny’s younger sister). I’m quite scared of dogs (and any animals :P) so I haven’t had the chance to carry her yet, but I do touched her a couple of times. Yay! :)
So, I had to add another thing on my bucket list:
Carry Feluchi :)

Guys, meet Feluchi! 

She’s a 4-year old Cocker Spaniel dog handed over by my Lola Tita (Granny’s younger sister). I’m quite scared of dogs (and any animals :P) so I haven’t had the chance to carry her yet, but I do touched her a couple of times. Yay! :)

So, I had to add another thing on my bucket list:

Carry Feluchi :)

THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER

Got to watch this movie last Friday. Like the book, I find the storyline slightly boring. And yes, don’t hate me TPOBAW fans for saying that. It’s just that, I got boring.;)

I do believe on the lines above though. 

We accept the love we think we deserve. 

That’s fairly true and I know that most people do. Some go to relationships due to popularity, looks, charisma and such, but do they really love the person? They don’t realize they missed out the “love” part. Dating is totally different from loving, dear. You guys just end up being together and troubles and problems come up. All will then become messed up and you’ll just be “partners” not “lovers.”

Just saying.

(via comealongpie)

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