It has been almost two years. At first, I don’t mind people saying funny things about me gaining weight. But now, I feel it running through my bones. Jokes that have been funny are now starting to sink in through my mind and heart. Sometimes, I just think, “Ah yeah, I know. Oh well, I will lose weight again!” But now, I sometimes feel hurt. Hurt in a sense that I feel like I’m a BIG elephant who just eats everything, everytime.
People started to notice everytime they see me. I kinda felt shy. Self-esteem at its lowest ever. I don’t feel comfortable and confident anymore. I just don’t know how to ponder things already. How did this begun? I always spend time thinking of the past, when I still have the thing they call “dancer body.” But I know I feel like a bloated balloon. Big stomach, big thighs, boxer-like arms and bloated face.
I wish I can turn back time and bring the past to present and not to look like a Balloon now.
I decided to try the “No Rice” diet and have cheat days every weekends. It has been two weeks. I really wish this would be effective though. I know I have to do more, strive more. This diet isn’t enough. I know, I just need more perseverance, focus and patience.
I really hope that in a few months or even a year I will be able to write back here and proudly share my success story in my journey for CHANGE.